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THREE WOLF MOON SHIRT ADULT SIZE M
Brand : The Mountain
Availability : This Item is currently Not Available
Avg. Customer Rating: (based on 1649 reviews)
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Finally, a garment fine enough to be buried in... |
I recently went on an annual camping trip with friends. During the trip, a couple of them pulled me aside and handed me a frilly gift bag. I was wary at first, but as I pushed the tissue paper aside, I quickly realized the treasure that was concealed by the pastel colors around it: A Three Wolf T-Shirt!
I immediately donned the garment (not even bothering to take off the shirt I was wearing) and howled for I knew this meant: I was truly one of their Pack. Other friends, intimidated by my guttural howl, filled my hands with offerings of Oatmeal Crème Pies and Chocolate Cupcakes. These offerings quelled the primal beast welling up inside of me and reminded me that they were friends and not threats to the greater Pack.
I wore the shirt for the remainder of the day and was more than a little shocked that the shirt I had on underneath wasn't eroded away by the awesomeness that was enveloping it. What did not shock me was that the coyotes that were howling in the woods the night before didn't make a peep for the remainder of the weekend; they knew not to mess with us now.
In hindsight, I wonder what the gift bag and tissue paper were made of. Because I'd assume a shirt of this magnitude would cause normal wrappings to burst into ash upon contact.
This shirt is highly recommended but isn't for the weak. This T-Shirt would probably consume a weak person and leave nothing but a desiccated corpse in its wake as it sought out a more worthy host body. |
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Changed my Life |
All I know is, I got the shirt, I put it on, and INSTANTLY my power level jumped all the way up to nine thousand.
NIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNE THOUSAAAAAAND!!! |
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Not Cool |
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When I put on this T shirt I was a woman. Now I am a Man. Not cool. |
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A word of caution! |
As we all know by now, the TWM shirt is the real deal. Its powers are unmatched.
However, I must warn everyone in possession of this mighty garment of the only Achilles's Heel I have found. I mistakenly put the TWM shirt on inside-out while at the coin op laundry and it instantly gave all of its powers to every enemy of mine within a 13 mile radius. They converged upon me with lightning quickness and agility and swiftly defeated me. I still have the bruises to prove it. |
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Cannot condone this sort of animal abuse |
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I simply cannot condone the decapitation of animals for the purpose of selling t-shirts that attract stunningly attractive, amorous women. These poor animals were sacrificed in the name of mysogyny and I strongly urge all daughters of Lillith, PETA and Grizzly Mammas alike to unite, stand up and declare "We're not gonna take this! No, we aint gonna take it!" |
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